i used to be really warm, but then i got into a habit of eating these blue pills and now i’m cold.

once i asked azalea if they thought i was any different. they said no, not really, except that i was now a bit more filtered.

i don’t like being warm. when i’m in the cave i still feel warm occasionally. sometimes uncomfortably so. and i shoot a look at the people near me. and it burns them. and when i see them burnt, i force myself to cool down. then the warmth of the cave crystals leaves and i’m once again cold, and now alone.

i also don’t like being cold, but it’s better than burning people. and it’s common wisdom that you can always put more layers on, but you can’t always take layers off.

apparently, globally, deaths from cold outnumber deaths from heat by a factor of 20. and on some level, i know that this applies to me too. i should be more afraid of cold. but i can’t help feeling what i feel. i just need to learn to override it somehow. and the next time i look at someone, i should trust in both our heat capacities.

i got a sleeping bag to go on a camping trip with chrysanthemum. i tried lying in it at home. it’s really nice for cold lonely nights. i think if i never find a significant other, when i’m old, i’ll sleep in a sleeping bag and let the bunnies crawl over the top.

bunnies don’t like being warm, because they are fuzzy.